Glenn Beck Program â€” August 5th, 2010
Minute 1: Prop 8 ruling shows up in a short list of things that happened on August 4th. He will not touch on it for the rest of his program. Mr. Beck likes to forget about his twisted little losses.
Minute 3: Beck slams various news outlets for covering Obama’s birthday but not the Missouri health care ruling. Says maybe failure to mention this was Obama’s birthday present from the media. He asks what the excuse is for all the other days. Well, Glenn, why do you spend your program insulting progressives instead of commenting on the monumental Proposition 8 ruling? Maybe today you have a headache. What’s your excuse for all the other days of telling lies and ignoring important things?
Minute 4: Slams Nancy Pelosi for announcing things via Twitter, because she’s so hip he says. Ahem: http://twitter.com/glennbeck
Minute 6: He has a little equation up on his board, and is speaking in a rude imitation of a southern accent. ‘I’m not a progressive elitist, so I’m not good at math-’ Well that’s right, Glenn. Maybe if the conservatives could be a little better with their facts and the ways in which they put two and two together (2+2=God hates minorities), we wouldn’t have so many problems.
Minute 7: Talking in a liberal character, says conservatives hate children, cops, firemen, and everyone different than themselves. Conservatives hate children because they’d have them stay in orphanages all their lives rather than be brought up in a loving gay home. They hate cops and firemen because they (say they) oppose social programs, and the PD and FD are both social programs. They have proven that they hate people different than them so many times in so many ways; I don’t have time to touch on it here. Email me if you want a plethora of examples.
Minute 8: Speaking as a progressive: ‘We love pigs – I mean cops â€” and baby killers â€” I mean soldiers.’ Beck, you’re an idiot, a hypocrite, and you don’t spend a second researching facts before you bash progressives. First of all, it would be the conservatives that hate cops. The police force is a social program; besides, conservatives hate being made to obey the law. In terms of the troops, it’s not the soldiers themselves that we object to. It’s the putrid wars in which your favorite president forced them to participate.
Minute 8: He is on his knees, pointing fingers, body shaking, yelling at the top of his voice. Anybody that watches this program as entertainment (which is what it is) is getting a real treat.
Minute 9: Points to himself as an example of a fat guy. Maybe Michelle Obama can help you with that! Oh, wait- you hate her for no reason.
Minute 11: He says evil union bosses pin blame on us, regular people, and that they don’t care about constitution. Oh, really? So, let’s see here. The constitution guarantees that the powerful majority will never be able to oppress the powerless minority. Well, guess what! That’s where the unions come in. They make sure that millionaires like you (because you are not an average Joe, despite what you would have people believe) can’t mistreat their workers. Besides, you should hardly talk about others caring about the constitution. You know nothing about it at all and wouldn’t care even if you did, as you and your church have proven on numerous occasions.
Minute 11: He calls Obama ‘fearless leader,’ and starts up a clip of him (which incidentally does not involve the president trying to kill moose and squirrel). Beck starts yelling before Obama finishes, and doesn’t bother to stop the tape either.
Minute 12: ‘What planet have I landed on, in the middle of the night? This looks like America, but it’s the damn planet of the apes!’ See, that’s the huge fallacy of Beck and his kind. They think that people are taking away their old rights, when in fact they never had them in the first place. Either that, or they talk about resetting, which would of course involve reinstating state-endorsed racism and misogyny. But hey! With Beck surrounding himself with guys like Ted Nugent, that’s probably the point.
Minute 13: ‘Let’s get the inventor of Betamax to be our technology czar! Smokeless cigarettes inventor – new EPA chief! These people are the epic failures of our time.’ Okay, let’s see. Betamax was revolutionary at the time, and was the first video format to become a true commercial success. Smokeless cigarettes have been proven to be better for both the environment and personal health than traditional cigarettes. And, Glenn Beck is an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Minute 13: He says he doesn’t know if God is powerful enough to help him fix things. Well, now we can add heresy to the list of Beck’s crap! A god that’s not omnipotent kinda defeats the entire idea anyway.
Minute 17: Endorses graffiti as an alternative to mural arts. Leave it up to lying assholes to like defacing property as well.
Minute 18: He makes extensive analogy about expense cutting being a husband & wife, saying: ‘We have to cut expenses, honey, so let’s stop buying organics, produce, all that good stuff- from now on, we’re only going to buy Mountain Dew and Cheetos.’ He goes red in the face, approaches his monitor, points to all the displays behind him, and bellows ‘MOUNTAIN DEW AND CHEETOS!’
Minute 18: ‘How about we get the rich, who never pay their fair share, to buy their stupid snotty opera house!?’ Hm. Now, that’s very interesting. You spend all of your time railing against tax increases, and then you complain because people aren’t paying enough taxes. Also of note, the fact that Mr. Beck is filthy rich. So under his (useless) logic, he should pay for his own ‘stupid snotty opera house.’
Minute 19: ‘I bet you by the end of this show, Media Matters has four stories on about me, all on Soros money.’ Not quite, but I bet by tomorrow’s show you’ll have thought up four new smears of Media Matters, all on- oh, wait. All of your donors are abandoning you.
Minute 19: ‘Dissenters, ask your friends what Glenn Beck says. They can’t tell you, because they only read the smears.’ See, the funny thing is that you accuse the other side of smears when you spend all of your time smearing them. I think the difference between a real smear and an expose is that the smear involves lies and distortions of the truth. And Beck definitely fits into the latter category.
Minute 20: He says Weather Underground and revolutionaries are all around this administration. Says progressivism is a cancer to the republic, goes against constitution, is set to destroy constitution. Says civil unrest and emergencies work in favor of these revolutionaries. Okay, well let’s see. First of all, Weather Underground is defunct. Saying that it’s surrounding this administration is like saying that Elvis is in charge of Area 51. Also, progressivism only goes against the parts of the constitution that involve oppression â€” basically the GOP’s favorite parts. Then, I can also turn all of these around to apply to conservatives â€” except that my version isn’t paranoid bullcrap. So let’s see. Skinheads and morons were all around the Bush administration. Conservativism is a cancer to the republic, and if successful will destroy it. Civil unrest and emergencies work in their favor (read: TeaBaggers). Yeah- Beck fails again.
Minute 28: ‘You know who’s to blame? Those evil bad spending Repubilicans.’ He shows some poor cities as having long-term liberal leadership. Well, what are local liberals supposed to do, when national conservatives keep striking down their abilities to do anything about their towns?
Minute 29: He lists Barack Obama in a list of criminals to come from Chicago. Yeah, no. You can’t just call somebody a criminal because you disagree with/dislike them. Well, I guess that Beck just considers it the same thing as calling him a Nazi. He likes to call people names when he can’t think of rational arguments against them.
Minute 30: ‘I’m not a fan of George W. Bush, but nobody in the media will tell you that’. Do you know why that is, Glenn? It’s because the media usually tries not to lie. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo3ltG0gwjY
Minute 30: ‘Economy is doing what progressives want to do: collapse the system and start all over again. Oh, the constitution is old and dusty. Progressivism is a cancer, and if we keep going down this road all of our cities will be crumbling because you’ll be paying for the dirtbag cities that made choices to do crazy stuff that you weren’t involved in.’ Okay, so let’s look at this. You think that the economy has collapsed completely, and is restarting in a progressive fashion? You think that paying taxes for social programs will turn all cities into slums? More brilliant Beck thinking for you right there.
Minute 37: ‘I’m just sitting here looking at something from the Democratic Socialists of America- all these people are with the DSA.’ He holds up the pamphlet, headline reads â€˜the alternative to capitalism is democratic socialism.’ ‘Is this what you wanted America?’ Well, it is technically what I want. Too bad it’s not happening. But let me guess: the government also plotted 9/11, and Obama is Kenyan. Oh, and Santa Claus shot JFK.
Minute 38: He says he’s been getting mail from people saying that they’re afraid to come to 8/28 rally because of expected trouble with the Black Panthers. ‘You know one of the reasons we started the 9/12 project? It’s so people could come together and overcome their fears. And they could stand up for principles.’ No, that’s a big fail right there. Your movement wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for your fear and superstition. If you could overcome your fear, it would defeat the purpose of almost every single one of your opinions. And do you know the other thing? You never actually addressed the concerns about the violence. I’m starting to think you just don’t care.
Minute 38: ‘I went back and I read the mission statement of 9/12. Ask yourself these questions â€” Do you watch the direction of America and feel powerless? Do you believe your voice isn’t loud enough to be heard?’ Do you read the headlines and feel an empty pit in your stomach?’ Occasionally. No. And sometimes. It really depends how often your side has a victory (AKA, human rights has a loss).
Minute 39: ‘Don’t worry. There will be so many others like you on 8/28. All joined in a common bond, with a common pledge to take a peaceful stand for their country. This is the time to stand.’ Right. Maybe you’ll practice this kind of peace:
Minute 39: ‘Edmund Burke said: â€˜when bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one-” Edmund Burke also said, ‘Hypocrisy can afford to be magnificent in its promises, for never intending to go beyond promises, it costs nothing.’
Minute 39: ‘Fear is the way they get you to do nothing. It’s a tool. They terrorize you. They call you names. Many of these people are nothing more than terrorists. Economic terrorists. Free speech terrorists. Religious terrorists. Racial terrorists. They are attempting to silence you with terror.’ Honestly, I’m not sure now you apply this to liberals, but I have an extremely easy time turning it around for conservatives. They call us names, like communist and fascist. Bush proved how much they love to terrorize our economy. They love to practice their own free speech in excess while speaking out against the rights of others. They certainly use their religion in the name of violence and terror. Racial terroists, well of course you can see conservatives active in racial crimes and biases every day. I could go on and on.
Minute 40: (holding up socialist flyer) ‘I have no problem with this. You think this is the answer? Fine, let’s debate that.” Oh, really? Debate that? Hm. So, what about all the people that have challenged you to a debate over just this topic as well as many others? James Cameron? Ralph Nader? Both of the authors of this website? They’ll never happen. He’s a coward, and he won’t debate anyone because he knows that he can’t win in a fair format.
Minute 41: ‘MLK knew one thing â€” if you want to succeed, you must have faith in the American people. Because when you put hatred and violence and fear side by side with faith and determination, people become as strong as the mountains. People will always pick the faith and determination.’ Well see, there’s two problems with this statement. The first is your continued insistence that MLK was on your side. Half of your people are racists, and even if they’re not, they still want to remove rights and are ignorant. Those are the exact things that King fought against. Secondly, you’ve got your values separated when you and yours usually like to keep them together. See, the religious right is too often determined to use their fear and faith in the name of violence. That’s really the only practice that keeps your movement going. Your logic fails, yet again.
Minute 55: He takes a long time talking about Dietrich Bonhoeffer (a German priest involved in plans to assassinate Hitler), and never manages to make a clear point.
Minute 58: ‘We need to teach our children. 8/28, bring your children.’ Bring your children? Well I always knew that Beck was both a liar and an asshole, but this brings things to a whole new level. I do believe this graduates him to ‘monster’ status. But of course, where would the religious right be without indoctrination? I don’t think there would be half as many theists if they weren’t raised by their parents to be superstitious. And I don’t even have problems turning this statement around. I would NEVER bring my child to a political rally. Because I care about my child, and I want him to be an independent person capable of making his own decisions. I don’t want him running around like an idiot telling people ‘well, my daddy says.’ I hate to bring things to the family level, but I would be willing to bet that Beck is a terrible father, even if his kids don’t think so.