The Glenn Beck Report

Deconstructing Glenn Beck Lies

Glenn Beck Jokes

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The real JOKER

The real JOKER

Send me any Glenn Beck Jokes you can find… of course, we all know he’s a joker!

Glenn Beck walks up to the bar and orders a shot of Vicks Vapo-Rub. Bartender says, “Oh, I get it,Mormon, can’t drink.” Beck replies, “Nope, I just feel like a good cry!”

Three kids save Glenn Beck from falling off a cliff. Beck says he’ll give them anything they want in return. The first kid says, “I want to go to Disneyland!” Beck agrees. The second kid says, “I want a bunch of money!” Beck agrees. The third kid says, “I want good health care!” Beck replies, “why do you want that, you little commie?!” The kid says, “because when my parents find out I helped you, they’ll kill me!”

“It’s ‘Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there’s just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let’s see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!” —Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck’s frequent use of Nazi analogies

“James Cameron, who directed ‘Avatar,’ is in a feud with Glenn Beck, because Cameron called him a mad man. The two are very different. One makes millions creating fictional stories, and the other is James Cameron.” —Craig Ferguson

“Some critics are saying that Palin won’t last on Fox because she’s an over-emotional woman who gets the facts wrong. But I disagree. It’s working great for Glenn Beck, so she’ll be fine.” —Craig Ferguson

“Fox News host Glenn Beck has lost over 30 sponsors since he called President Obama a racist. And the latest sponsor that he just lost is Clorox bleach. That’s amazing. Even a company whose sole purpose is to make things whiter thinks Glenn Beck has gone too far.” –Conan O’Brien

“Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. Well, to be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people.” –Conan O’Brien

“And as you know, Santa Claus is working very hard with his elves to make sure every child gets at least one toy this Christmas, or as Glenn Beck calls that, ‘socialism.’” —Jay Leno

“Glenn Beck had an emergency appendectomy, but he’ll be back on the air tomorrow. That’s right. However, for his first day back, doctors are warning Glenn to take it easy and only compare Obama to Hitler three times an hour.” —Conan O’Brien

“During the middle of his show, Fox News commentator Glenn Beck was rushed to the hospital for an attack of appendicitis. Yeah. Apparently, Beck was crying and screaming incoherently, so his audience assumed everything was normal.” —Conan O’Brien

“A new survey found that the average man cries about six times a year. That number would be a lot lower if it weren’t for Glenn Beck.” –Jimmy Fallon

Written by admin(Wexler)

October 4th, 2009 at 1:15 pm

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