Were Eric Massa and Glenn Beck separated at birth?

Glenn has been licking his chops and sharpening his knives waiting for a new opportunity to “scoop” the socialist-Nazi-fascist-communist agenda of some target like Van Jones, the former Commissar of Comrade Obama’s Ministry of Energy.  When Eric Massa,  self-ousted US Representative from NY29th Congressional District  started running into problems, and then when he started going bat-shit-wakko, Glenn thought he might be able to get some juicy tidbits to stoke the fires under his boiling pot of conspiracy theory goo.

Glenn actually went on the defense/offense for Massa, claiming that he was really not one of the Bad Guys.  At least not any more.  Glenn said on Monday that Eric Massa was “like a Soviet defector”.  LOL. Oh, the information you can get from a former enemy of the state who turns. You see, if you’re a Democrat, you’re not really serving in the US government, you’re serving in the former Soviet Union.  It’s an insider game, you have to be a member of the communist-fascist-socialist-Nazi party first, but then once you prove your depth of loathing for America, and spit on/burn an American flag, then you can become a Democrat.

Beck decided to give Massa an entire hour today (Tuesday) to chat about all of the comings and goings-on in the belly of the Beast. a.k.a., the Democratic Party caucus of the US House of Representatives.

Some of you who frequent this site know that I never actually watch Glenn Beck’s show, but after watching some of the clips today I rather wish that I had.  Eric Massa must be a double agent, Glenn, because his idiotic, insane blathering made YOU look like a the guy in the big pants who just got seltzer squirted into them.  It was HILARIOUS! Beck had the look of someone who had just been delivered the knockout punch but hasn’t hit the floor yet. He was non-plussed, no matter what he did, no matter what tricks he tried, he couldn’t get Massa to say anything except that Rahm Emmanuel poked him while in a shower in the Congressional gym locker room. With his FINGER, now I know how some of you think!

This is a very weird story, and it’s just weirder because Beck hyped it up on his radio and TV shows yesterday, even getting negative attention from Michelle Malkin and Rush Limbaugh. (Today Rush promised to leave the country in 5 years if the current health care plan passes. If we all chip in $100, maybe he’ll leave in 1 year?) So once again the Beckster suffers and epic FAIL, this one might even have Rupert Murdoch wondering why the hell he’s footing the bill for Beck’s dippy show. Could it be the end of Glenn Beck’s free ride on the airwaves?

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I will update this post later this week; I am rather posted out this evening having written my first and probably last “diary” over at DailyKos.  Markos Moulitsas made a point of joining Glenn Beck today with baseless attacks on two of my favorite progressives, Dennis Kucinich and Ralph Nader.  Kucinich was on Keith Olbermann Monday night delivering a succinct and cogent argument as to why we shouldn’t settle for the current health care bill.  I guess if you do that, you’re Ralph Nader and you caused 2 wars and everything wrong in the world today by “stealing” the election from Al Gore in 2000.  Really?!!?   If you want to read and comment on the “diary”, here’s a link:

wwwexler DailyKos diary

That’s it for now.

Nothing refreshes the GOP faithful more than a daily constitutional

UPDATE: 2/27/10

Glenn Beck’s slash-and-burn schtick fired up the CPAC loony bin by repeating lie after distortion after smear, the most comforting material that he could present to America’s dead political party. It’s hard to imagine how so much crap could come out of a human being in a short period of time.

Beck (with Palin and the rest of the GOP) is attempting  to drag the TeaBaggers into the fold,  kicking and screaming, but they are so thick that most of them have yet to realize it.  Some of them are getting suspicious. (Hmmm… both of them are paid contributors to Faux News, the official propaganda organ of the GOP. Palin was the Vice Presidential candidate for the GOP in the last election. Glenn Beck has never said one nice thing about any Democrat.  Sarah Palin has repeatedly stated that she has no use for the “liberal elitists” and would rather be chasing down animals in a helicopter and shooting them with weapons designed for war than serving as Governor in a corrupt system.   Hmmm. D’ya think…?)

Tonight we hear that Beck and Palin are going on a 2-stop tour to TeaBagger-land, the first stop in Oklahoma, the intellectual center of gravity in America and also home to lots of fancy dancing by men in cowboy hats with shit-kickers that never saw any shit. Watching these two on the same stage reminds me of the dance scene with Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein, doing the soft shoe to “Puttin’ on the Ritz” for a thrilled crowd until an explosion casts a flash of light on them.

Gene Wilder can play Beck; since Peter Boyle is deceased perhaps they could have a dancing bear play Palin.

At that moment the monster goes wild and runs amok. Surely whatever they say or do cannot stand the light of scrutiny by a critical press. Why else would Sarah Palin try to shut them out of their events? My other question… would Gene Wilder consider impersonating Glenn Beck for a parody remake of the scene?

The Beck CPAC speech lies and abuses have been well-documented by Ryan Witt in the Des Moines Register at the following link:

http://www.examiner.com/x-5738-Political-Buzz-Examiner~y2010m2d21-Video-Commentary-and-fact-check-of-Glenn-Becks-CPAC-speech?#comments

I am looking for an “official” transcript of the speech and will try to get one up on a separate page. Ryan has done a great job of detailing the lying sack-o’-doody, but in case he’s missed any I’ll be doing my own fact check as well.

BTW, you should be careful when you search for Beck transcripts. I put this into Google and it spit up a link that tried to infect my computer. If this happens to you, please press Alt-F4 (the Alt key and the F4 key simultaneously) until all the windows related to your browser close. In this process, you may reboot your computer if you press the combination after all windows are closed; this is still better than having to disinfect your browser.

I am not sure who would want to discourage you from reading a transcript of Glenn Beck’s CPAC speech, which is why I will post a clean copy here when I get one.

IN OTHER NEWS….

Glenn went totally ape-shit over an Obama speech about job creation and the stimulus bill. The clip is amazing; insanity, personified.

A nice gent who goes by the name of Kevinge3 on YouTube posted this clip:

UPDATE!! This video can’t be embedded by the request of the poster, but the link below still works to take you to the YouTube video. I respect Kevinge3’s right to disable embedding, so when you go over to YouTube, please do 2 things: First, show Kevinge3 some love for editing this 30 seconds or so out and making a nice video, and second, don’t forget to come back!

Alpo, anyone? Everyone send Glenn Beck a can of Alpo, please.

Glenn Beck, who was cursed to be gone from the airwaves on or before January 21, 2010 by Michael Savage (see story here) has been graciously granted a 90-day extension by the Glenn Beck Report.

Glenn's career graciously extended by 90 days

This gesture of good will on my part is not entirely magnanimous; I took out a 1 year hosting plan and domain name registration, and if Glenn were to go off the air before then I would have wasted part of my $60. In times like these, we have to watch our pennies. Therefore I am granting Glenn a 3 month extension; this, too, is an arbitrary amount of time pulled out of my ass so it may be extended again should Glenn still be on the air 3 months from now.

Should Glenn do anything stupid, this extension may be withdrawn at any time. (ROFL)

NOTE to my regular visitors….

I must apologize for not keeping this site updated. Glenn has been chumming the planet for bloggers since November, when health concerns have caused me to take a break from posting updates. I would like to say that the situation is resolving, but unlike Glenn, I don’t like to lie.

So, if anyone thinks they would like to submit material, please let me know via email and I will create a posting account for you.

Cheers,
Wexler

Thanks for the link, Glenn.

It’s appreciated, I’ll try my best to say something nice about you once in a while. Maybe to help me out, you could stop being a psychotic mess of a right wingnut conspiracy-theory-promulgating, racist, cult-member, fear-mongering, bat-shit-crazy, crocodile-tear-shedding, money-grubbing, and so on, person.

I'll be Lincoln, Glenn can be Douglas

I’m a busy man, Glenn, but I will make time in my schedule to prepare for this debate. There are few conditions, it’s just got to be a fair fight and when you use the tape you have to be fair about it.

Whaddya say, Glenn? C’mon, you might even get in a couple of sound bites!

Harlem Boys Choir, an extraordinary group that you won't hear at any Glenn Beck events.

So the Boy’s Choir apparently pulled out when someone pointed out that Glenn Beck has called the President a “racist”. But where were they for the last 6 months? This is old news, I realize that young people are out of touch and so on, but for crying out loud. Beck’s people say it was a dispute about money.

Gotta run… more later.

LATER…..

So again, I read that James Rucker and Color of Change persuaded the organization to drop out of Beck’s “Christmas Sweater” tour, citing Beck’s racist comments and beliefs. I just have to wonder how any black person in this country could not already know what Glenn Beck has said about black people. It astonishes me.

The choir says it backed out for financial reasons. That’s hard to believe, given Beck’s estimated $18 million a year salary plus the millions of dollars he’ll pull in from the gullible on his Christmas Sweater tour. By the way, the Christmas Sweater is a book that Glenn wrote that is sentimental garbage designed to make himself look like a regular Joe.

He’s NOT a regular Joe. He’s not even a CHRISTIAN. He’s a Mormon. Mormons are NOT Christians, even though they trot out the Bible at Easter and Christmas. To be a Christian you have to hold to certain dogmatic beliefs. One of them is NOT that Jesus and Satan are twin brothers, which is what Glenn Beck believes. The Mormons are FRAUDULENT when they call themselves Christians, in fact, they are the people that the Bible warns Christians about. You know, people who make up their own scripture and follow false prophets? For Glenn Beck to be running around the country pulling in the Christian Fundies to his “Christmas Sweater” tour is supreme irony, and I predict that there are going to be a passel of sermons given about Glenn Beck and the Mormons before this is all over.

Meanwhile, if you want a nice break from Glenn Beck, please pick up one of the many fine recordings of the Harlem Boys Choir at this link: http://www.boyschoirofharlem.org/home-nosound.html

They are a wonderful group and definitely worth seeing. Especially if you don’t have to sit through 2 hours of Glenn Beck Bullshit to hear them.

The children, some of the estimated 12 million original people. About 250,000 survive today.

I have been over to the 912 Project site (guilty pleasure, kind of like staring at an impending train wreck).

They had a link to an article about the “true” meaning of Thanksgiving… and it’s not what you might expect. The story is that the TRUE meaning of Thanksgiving is celebrating the Pilgrims’ freedom to practice… wait for it… capitalism after escaping European socialism!

I can’t find the link to the story and it’s not showing up in Google, but I swear I saw it with my own two eyes. If anyone finds a link to it, please email it to me… wexler@glennbeckreport.com.

OK, it’s Thanksgiving and my wife and I just prepared and ate a very nice dinner which we made with our own 4 socialist/secular humanist hands. I’ve done some thinking about that friggin’ article that was even too WHACKED for the 912 Project. Here’s my response to the notion that the Pilgrims came here to escape socialism.

You’re ignorant LIARS. The Pilgrims came here so that they could practice their own religion, not to practice capitalism. But they DID practice capitalism, and how! And if you want to know how American capitalism works, the indigenous people that sat with the Pilgrims during the first Thanksgiving dinner provide us with a PERFECT illustration. American capitalism works by using power and deception to take whatever you want from those who don’t have the means to defend it, and if they get in the way just go ahead and wipe ‘em out.

To whoever wrote that dumbass article, and also to whatever racist fool at the 912 Project website thought that it was a good idea to link to it because it had the word “socialism” in it:

Who do you think was living here BEFORE Europeans came and established American capitalism? Where did they end up, how did they benefit from capitalism? They were wiped out in a savage and shameful series of genocidal wars, exploitation of military power, even germ warfare. This is the DISGRACE of capitalism, it shows what it does to the people at the bottom.

Happy Thanksgiving, warpigs. Are you happy yet? Not quite, I suppose, there are still a few of us in the middle class hanging on.

http://www.firstpeople.us/photographs/Children-of-Quanah-Parker-Comanche-1892.html

Gonna gitcha, sukka.

This is a story I’ve been meaning to get around to writing about for a while, now. I’ve had an email exchange with one of the principals, because I wanted to see if he had a comment or would like to have the story treated in any special way. In light of the menacing, bullying, yet cowardly acts of the self-proclaimed defenders of the Constitution who bring guns to public meetings and make anonymous death threat calls in the middle of the night (been there, answered those), I thought I’d give “Name Withheld” a chance to nix this story or at least give me his viewpoint on the whole thing. He declined to comment, but gave me a load of information with which to use as reference for this post.

If you have ever watched or listened to Glenn Beck you have heard him insinuate something that is totally unsubstantiated and then claim it must be true because nobody is denying it. For example, How do we know Obama isn’t turning AmeriCorps into a secret, armed police force? The White House hasn’t denied it. Beck uses this tactic on a continuing basis to create straw man conspiracies. Of course nobody’s denying it, Glenn, because you’re the only dicktard stupid enough to say it, and who cares what you say?

didglennbeckrapeandmurderayounggirlin1990.com

In case you’ve not heard about this, here’s the nutshell version. Some posters over at Fark.com’s forum, a satire and news site, had a rapid series of free associations and determined that Beck’s routine was actually very similar to how Gilbert Gottfried performed at Comedy Central’s roast of Bob Saget which took place on August 3, 2008. During this roast, Gottfried begged people to stop accusing Saget of rape. So, this guy named Isaac Eiland-Hall, fed up with Glenn Beck’s frequent use of guilt-by-insinuation (aren’t we all?), claimed the domain name http://didglennbeckrapeandmurderayounggirlin1990.com and set it up as a parody website. A parody of Glenn Beck’s character assassination and smear techniques. However, Eiland-Hall was deadly serious about Beck’s smear tactics and also his own First Amendment rights.

I should interject here that the website took flak from everywhere as “serious” liberal commentators were quick to “condemn” it as they were covering the story. Even Keith Olbermann took a swing at it, while giving it free PR at the same time. It’s hard to know what goes on in the editorial rooms of MSNBC but I’ll bet they were LTAO as they were deciding how Keith should handle the story.

Eiland-Hall stated (later) that the tipping point for him was Glenn Beck’s interview with Minnesota’s Congressman Keith Ellison, to whom Beck confessed he was nervous because of Ellison’s Muslim faith. “And I have to tell you, I have been nervous about this interview because what I feel like saying is, sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies.” Watch:

So because of Glenn’s ignorant, racist, flapping gums and some high-spirited posting in the Fark Forum, didglennbeckrapeandmurderayounggirlin1990.com was born.

The site went viral and soon Glenn Beck was on it with legal threats trying to get it taken down. The site went down briefly when the webhost changed nameservers, but it stood with unflinching valor as Isaac and his attorney Marc Randazza held their ground against the most popular screwball in the Fox News bullpen of screwballs. Having failed to bluff the website out of existence, Beck chose to take the fight to WIPO, the World Intellectual Property Organization (WIPO) in Switzerland. (I forget, is that Old Europe or NEW Europe?) The complaint was based on an alleged trademark violation. However, WIPO ruled in Eiland-Hall’s favor as this is clearly not a trademark issue; the website is political in nature and not an effort to profit from the name (re-read that last statement, Glennie-boy). After winning, Isaac said his point had been proved and graciously gave Glenn Beck the “keys to the account” and told him he could take the website down at his leisure. It’s still there as of today. There is a lot of information about this controversial case on the ‘net, and Eiland-Hall’s new website is www.GB1990.com if you would like to check it out.

Naturally, I have taken an interest in this case since I operate a website with Glenn Beck’s name in the domain name. Also, I know the schizoid freak reads this and it probably keeps him up nights trying to figure out how he can shut it down. Glenn, sadly for you, this is political commentary, and you’re a public political figure so you are fair game. I am not selling anything here, just documenting your lies.

Oh no you didn't.

There is a larger issue here and I hope it’s not missed. In 1976, the Supreme Court ruled in effect that money = free speech in Buckley v Valeo. The ruling was that the state couldn’t limit political ad buys by candidates or anyone because that would be limiting their free speech. Soon the Supreme Court will review whether or not corporations have free speech rights. I predict that the mostly corporate-owned SC will rule that they do. There you have it. Corporations with money and free speech rights. The perfect hatchery for fascism in the media.

The significance of the WIPO ruling is that somebody like Isaac (or me) can spend about $75 and take on a giant media doofus backed by the mega-cult Mormon church and prevail. I have operated www.stopdubya.com for 9 years, even as the Bush Administration threatened us with domestic spying and forum posters threatened me over the phone. But despite the reach of Bush’s network my little part-time budget site stayed put, because they knew that regardless of how bad I made them look, I wasn’t lying. Further, if they would have made an issue of my site (or any of the hundreds of other anti-Bush sites) it just would have given that site the spotlight in the national media.

As long as we have true net neutrality we’ll have free political speech. Even if others can buy it by the boatload.

The ADL has spent most of its life as an organization since 1913 defending Jewish people against Jew-baiting and hate speech. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary efforts, however, which prompted them to do a special report on the anti-government hate speech and conspiracy theories spun by crackpot melon-headed assholes like Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck.

Glenn Beck is well known in rational circles for being a dry druggie (allegedly dry), Cleon-Skousen-spewing Mormon bigot, and self-made millionaire. He’s only in it for the money. Maybe. Or maybe he really believes the crap he says? Who knows?

Congratulations, Glenn, you little maggot. You deserve everything you get, including this award.

This is a story that Glenn should be proud about, since he barks instructions to the teabaggers for hours at a time. Some of those instructions, by the way, are becoming rather vicious. Glenn better watch how he runs his mouth or perhaps someone over at Faux will actually have to be the adult. For example,

Glenn Beck compares health insurance reform to rape

The unbelievable dry druggie (perhaps) never ceases to amaze. This time he went over the top, even topping his bit where he “poured gasoline” all over a person sitting on his set. This time he said

The American public doesn’t want government-run health care and, for the first time in history, we don’t think it’s the government’s place to give it to us. We’re the young girl saying “no” and government is Roman Polanski: In the end, we are all going to be cowering in France.

Now Glenn, please listen very carefully. When I suggested that you should 'research' I meant books and such, not where you usually go for 'facts'.

I have written at length in an earlier post about the unfortunate schlub Doug Hoffman, the teabagger candidate who claimed that Glenn Beck is his “mentor”. Holy smokes, to think that a grown man would admit that in PUBLIC. Well, on election night, November 3, as the teabagger dream crumbled before his eyes and his mentor lay sick in the hospital with acute appendicitis, Doug Hoffman conceded the race to Democrat Bill Owens. Owens was sworn into office last Saturday, November 7.

So today, just to prove what a weird creepy dick he really is, Doug Hoffman got into a phone conversation with “the mentor” on his radio show and got egged on into the following conversation:

BECK: Alright, so let me ask you two questions. Are you currently bowing to me at the waist? (LAUGHTER) Have you bowed, or will you bow, to anyone, at the waist? No? Okay, good. Second question for you, are you officially un-conceding at this moment?

HOFFMAN: Yes, if I knew this information at the election night, I would not have conceded.

BECK: So are you un-conceding?

HOFFMAN: If that’s possible, yes.

BECK: If the President can bow to an emperor and nobody says anything, yeah, I think you can unconcede.

Update 11/20:
The actual event that spurred this conversation was the news that around 10,000 absentee ballots had not yet been counted. There are various rumors circulating about what actually happened on election night, but thanks to excellent reporting by Submitted to a Candid World, we don’t have to speculate. Hoffman had all the correct information when he conceded. The NY Board of Elections has NOT issued final certification of the election results, it’s conditional. However, Hoffman’s chances of winning with the uncounted absentee ballots are next to none because they were cast before Dede Scozzafava dropped out of the race. Do the math: she was polling at about 20% when she dropped out. That leaves 8,000 votes. Owens had roughly a 3,100 vote victory, which means that in order to make up the difference and win Hoffman would have to take 5,550 or about about 70% of the remaining 8,000 votes. Now think about this for a moment. After what you’ve seen of the teabaggers in video, still photos, on TV, and elsewhere, what do you suppose are the chances that these people would send in an absentee ballot? 70% of the toothless goofballs couldn’t find their ass with both hands let alone obtain, fill out, and mail in an absentee ballot.

I predict that Dede Scozzafava will do much better in absentee ballots than Hoffman. This is just a hunch, but it makes sense if you think about the organization of the GOP versus the angry rabble that voted for Hoffman based on the recommendations of Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin.

The election will not be officially certified until December. If you go to Hoffman’s website, there are stories on the index page that claim there was a virus in the voting machines (how’s that paper ballot thing the GOP fought for the last decade working out for ya?) and another article that tantalizingly asks the question “Owens in Office Illegally?”. Nope, he’s not. The New York Board of Elections gave Congress a conditionally certified result. If the teabagger boy gets the 70% of the absentee ballots as explained above, then Glenn Beck’s head will explode with glee. If not, it’s going to be Vapo-Rub City for the Prince of Pricks. Maybe everybody should send him a crying towel. Stay tuned…
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Well, Glenn, you had so much success on your first try at throwing the GOP out of office, we here at GlennBeckReport and StopDubya wish you the best of luck and continuing success for many years to come.