The Glenn Beck Report

Hi everyone-

I’d like to direct you to two new permanent pages we’ve added to the site. You can find them from now on in the site’s sidebar. Wexler has created “TeaBaggers and Other Vermin“, chronicling some of the more stupid and racist events that have been going on within our favorite astroturf group. I, meanwhile, have been working on our new “The 12 Values Deconstructed” page. This is a companion to our older “9 Principles Deconstructed” pages, and it talks about the 9/12 group’s 12 values and picks apart just how foolish it is for Beck of all people to ask that they be followed.

Thanks for your readership, and we look forward to publishing more articles in the future.

Not just about fresh-faced boys and a great choir

The Czars had a great choir, too.

I think the first exposure  or awareness I had to the Mormons was just past the midpoint of the last century.  My grandfather, retired from his job as county assessor, had taken a part-time job doing accounting work at a gas station in our little town.  Our family didn’t have much money in those days so Gramps picked up a Christmas LP with a variety of artists singing Christmas carols.  I think it was from Firestone tires and I think I may even still have it somewhere among my 1500 albums. If my memory serves me correctly, the Mormon Tabernacle Choir sang “Adestes Fedeles” (O Come All Ye Faithful). We listened to that record hundreds of times over the years.

So, growing up, the only thing I knew about the Mormons was that they had a great choir.  We didn’t have a Mormon church in our city, and we were near the end of the line, so to speak, so perhaps the Mormons hadn’t gotten around to mapping out our community yet.  If they ever showed up at our door, they never got through it. During this period of my life, I was very much interested in religion and was even considering a career as a pastor at one point, which amuses me now given my agnostic/atheist beliefs. During my second year of college, there was a Mormon in our dorm who happily gave me a copy of the Book of Mormon, which I prized and kept near my Bible and Satanic Bible. Back in those days, people used to sit around and have “bull sessions” about various topics, and religion was a favorite as it always included plenty of semi-informed speculation about what this or that might mean.

It's no use trying to hide from them, they'll catch up with you anywhere you go.

Flash forward to a new century, in a quiet town in a quiet state.  Our doorbell rang about every 6 months and my wife would coldly yet politely shag the two young “elder” Mormon lads who rang it down the road. This happened several times before I decided to let them in, sit them down and give them hell, and THEN shag them down the road once and for all. They sat down and we chatted about normal stuff for a while and during that conversation I realized that I really liked these fresh-faced kids.  They reminded me of me when I was about their age, earnestly and eagerly wanting to talk about their religious beliefs and proselytize if the opportunity presented itself. (Of course, in my day, I was all about LSD, not LDS).  We began to talk about religion, and I gave them fair warning that we both have religious beliefs (my wife is Catholic) and on we went.  There was slight pressure in the conversation towards the Mormon beliefs but it was subtle and respectful. After a while they said they had to go but they wanted to pray for me first. I thought that was sweet.  I invited them to come back any time, adding that they were welcome to come in out of the rain or cold, to warm up, have some water, use the bathroom, or whatever.

I think we saw that pair of young men two more times. One of them was from Portland, Oregon, and his mission was almost over.  A second pair came in once, and after that we haven’t seen any more Mormon missionaries. From what I know now, I expect that records of each contact were carefully noted and reported. I think we have used all of our allotted opportunities to become Mormons.

I wouldn’t have ever even thought of Mormons again, possibly, if it wasn’t for Glenn Beck. That would have been unfortunate, because despite being a political junkie I may have never bothered to notice them because they operate in such secrecy.  If you’re not actually looking for Mormon political actions and history you won’t see it because they rarely allow themselves to be seen.  That is, unless you’re one of the people who they screw, as they did in to LGBTs in California and Maine by pumping millions of dollars into a hate-filled smear campaign against the civil right of marriage for all.  This one I find to be rather interesting given the role of the government in ending polygamy in 1890 and the struggle that the Mormons fought for 50 years to hold to it.

Left Coast cartoon sums it up pretty well.

A quick side note. I got an email just yesterday from Fred Karger of Californians Against Hate.  The Mormons have come out publicly supporting Salt Lake City’s proposed ordinance which prohibits discrimination against LGBTs regarding employment and housing. The ordinance also protects those with disabilities.  Fred is hopeful that this is an opening step in a LDS church that is more open to granting civil rights to LGBTs. I take a more cynical view.  In the last days before the November 3^rd election in which Maine overturned their LGBT marriage law, there was a dispute between gay LGBT advocates and NOM (National Organization for Marriage) which pumped $1.6 million into overturning the marriage law in Maine. A federal court ruled that NOM must disclose its donors under Maine law; they still haven’t complied with the ruling and I believe that this latest news from the Mormons “supporting” LGBT civil rights in Utah is pure PR. They know that they are about to be cold-busted in Maine as the primary donor to NOM’s campaign.

Mormon History: steeped in blood, fraud, racism, sexism and lawlessness

This section is not intended to be comprehensive nor is it a mini-course in comparative religion.  The history of all religions could be written in the blood spilled by their adherents. In any religion there is an “in” group and an “out” group defined by a dogmatic set of rules and codes that the in group follows and the out group doesn’t.  The history of early Christianity has been filtered through the ages, but Mormon history is relatively recent so we have modern accounts dating back to its very beginnings.

Fraud

This guy was a fraud, a cheat, a murderer, a charlatan, a polygamist, oh, and by the way, the founder of the Mormon church.

The Mormon faith is founded on documents supposedly found by Joseph Smith, a self-proclaimed “Glass looker” (also known as “money digger”) who said he could see things that other people couldn’t see by looking into a glass or special stone.  One of the things he looked for was buried treasure, which explains why he never had any money.  In the 1820s phonies like Smith were commonplace. In 1826 Smith was hired by Josiah Stowell in New York to find what he thought was a Spanish treasure buried on his farm.  Smith spent a month on the farm living off of his host’s hospitality, and came up empty handed. After that small fiasco Smith was brought up on charges by those close to Stowell; Arad Stowell, Josiah’s son, was one who testified at the trial that he had observed Smith’s operations and that he was a fraud.  Smith was convicted of Disturbing the Peace.  (An odd charge, I think).

There has been a lot of controversy about the Book of Mormon’s origins, authenticity, and even plagiarism.  The story is that Joseph Smith was out money digging and was guided to a buried box of golden plates which were there under the protection of the angel named “Moroni”.  This find supposedly took place September 22, 1823, near Manchester, New York.  This Moroni was a “rules person”, and Smith was not allowed to have the plates until he followed a bunch of rules, including coming back to them every year for 4 years.  Smith finally got the plates but was not allowed to show them to anyone (of course).  The plates were written in a language Smith referred to as “reformed Egyptian”, which is a language that no linguist has ever seen.  It has no trace of existence on this planet.  Smith began translating the plates by looking at his seer stone in the bottom of his inverted stovepipe hat, dictating the English to several people who took turns writing it down.

The Golden Plates which contained the Book of Mormon written in "reformed Egyptian". Gimme a break.

Since there are but a few eyewitness accounts of the plates, and since the accounts of what they actually looked like don’t match, there is not even any usable circumstantial evidence that proves they existed.  Therefore the Mormons accept their existence and the authenticity of their translation as an article of faith.  Those of us who don’t believe in magic tricks would be more easily convinced if there was any tangible evidence besides a book that is full of contradictions, inaccuracies, and even some suspected plagiarism. Passages from the Book of Mormon are almost identical to passages in the KJV of the Bible, which is odd because the plates were alleged to be 1100 years old and therefore predate the King James Bible, which was written in 1611, creating a compelling point for calling the golden plates story nothing more than hokum and charlatanism.

There is another book of rules called the “Doctrines and Covenants”, originally published in 1833 as the “Book of Commandments”.  In 1834 the book was pared down to what were considered the most significant ‘revelations’.  There was another version printed in 1876 contains disputed material attributed by some as revelations of Joseph Smith.  There are about 100 revelations and lectures in it.  So here’s another opportunity for FRAUD.

If a church claims that one of its bedrock doctrines is the word of God through revelation, and that God speaks directly through the Apostles, then it’s fraudulent when the church changes its dogma as a matter of convenience.  It provides a stark example of how the so-called God-given code is nothing more than a phony rule somebody made up that worked out for them at the time but became uncomfortable or inconvenient so it gets changed.  This is not a “revelation” of God’s will, it’s a cynical game of opportunism played by the church Leadership.

About Face on Polygamy

In the world of Mormonism, men have needs, too many to be met by a single wife.

Note: the information regarding Mormon polygamy below is largely sourced from  what is considered to be an authoritative paper titled “LDS Church Authority and new Plural Marriages, 1890-1904 written by D. Michael Quinn.  Quinn actually ran this by Mormon President Gordon Hinckley before publishing it.  It’s available at http://www.lds-mormon.com/quinn_polygamy.shtml but I get spooky popups from the site, I will just warn you in advance.

The Mormons have taken a dogmatic U-turn at least twice.  The first example occurred in 1890 when they suddenly renounced polygamy at the same time that Utah was being held up from statehood over the polygamy issue.  The church leadership had been fighting a losing battle with various state and local governments over this issue since the church formed in 1830.  They were hounded out of New York, Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois where Joe Smith was killed while in protective custody in Carthage. (Accounts say he killed two of his assailants with a pistol before they killed him).  Brigham Young move the church to Utah starting in 1847 to avoid persecution for polygamy and other heresies.

It wasn’t until 1852 that the Mormons made official what was already known by every community within they had lived, namely that they practiced plural marriages. In February 1851, Mormon President Brigham Young announced to a meeting of the Utah territorial legislature that he had more than one wife.  Then in  August 1852, Young announced that “celestial marriage” was a doctrine of the church.

The Mormon church and its leadership were willing to break local laws, lie to authorities, and even develop the posture that truth was relative, not absolute in order to hold on to polygamy. In 1890, a document called the “1890 Manifesto” (Czary, eh, Glenn?) surfaced which declared an end to polygamy but muddied the waters with a whole big lot of controversy as to its origins, its meaning, its scope of authority, and place in the church’s hierarchy of dogma.  Was it a revelation? Was it part of the D&C?

The short answer is that there is no short answer. The US Supreme Court had just upheld anti-bigamy laws in 1879. The Mormon leadership was on the run in Mexico. Anti-Mormon forces in Utah were gaining more control; Mormons were denied voting rights and barred from public office. Church property was being seized. The church was in turmoil and confusion for decades over this issue. So… zing! Just declare the sacrament that is central to the faith, the practice that is the life of practicing Mormons, to be null and void! Afterwards, persecution tapers off, Mormons regain control of Utah, which becomes a state, and the rest is history.

Another U-Turn of Convenience: Wassup, bro?

For 150 years, the Mormons taught that all blacks are cursed by God.  This is just a plain, ugly fact.  It is documented in the D&C. It is reflected in church policies, and their official’s public statements.  This is well-documented at the following link http://www.christiandefense.org/mor_black.htm where specific quotations from the Book of Mormon, the D&C, and church leadership spanning those 150 years can be found.  The racial prejudice was founded on their interpretation of the Bible, no less, saying that all black people were descended from Cain and therefore were not only inferior beings but were also cursed by God to live lives of suffering and servitude.

Yo, my new brother, was HAAPENIN, come on in, ya'll are cursed but you know how to keep our shoes SHINED

But… wait! In case of emergency, break dogma. For 150 years the Mormons refused to allow black men into “the Priesthood”.  But in 1978 the pressure mounted on the church to a point where the Apostles had another convenient “revelation”. It might have had something to do with Stanford University’s declaration that they were banning football games with BYU because of racism.  Maybe it was the pending NAACP lawsuit filed on behalf of Byron Marchant, a black man denied the position of Scoutmaster because the church required all Scoutmasters to be members of “the Priesthood”.  For whatever reason, there was another “revelation” that blacks could now be received into “the Priesthood”. Strangely, the text of the “revelation” has never actually been revealed.  It’s only been included as an “Official Declaration” in the D&C, which states that the “revelation” occurred.  However, although the policy has changed, the idea that black people are inferior and cursed has NOT changed.  This dichotomy of practice vs dogma is a perfect example of the church adapting itself to the environment.

Please note carefully: although the church institutionalized racism, this is NOT a universally-accepted doctrine of all Mormons nor has it been over the last 150 years.  Many Mormons have been outspoken challengers of this policy and have championed black civil rights.

Blood on the sand, blood on their hands

In 1857, the Mormons in Utah were in a state of rebellion against the US government over the polygamy issue and others as well.  The Mormons had formed a militia named the Nauvoo Legion and loudly claimed that they would defend Utah from any invading force.  President Buchanan was incensed by this and ordered a force of 2,500 regular army to Utah to restore order.

About 140 human beings, men, women, and children were murdered in cold blood at Mountain Meadows on 9/11/1857. Maybe Glenn Beck should start a 9/12 Project about THAT.

Against this backdrop, a wagon train originating from Arkansas called the Fancher-Baker party passed into Utah territory on its way to Oregon.  Church leaders wanted to off the interlopers, but they didn’t want to have to take responsibility for killing them.  Their Big Plan? They dressed up like Indians. WTF? The initial attack became a siege as the wagon train put up a fight. After some period of time, the Mormons persuaded the wagon train to surrender.  What happened next was horrible.

On September 11, 1857, at Mountain Meadows, the members of the wagon train surrendered to the Mormons.  Every man, woman, and child that was deemed old enough to recount what happened was executed in cold blood. The men were shot by the Mormons.  The women and children were killed by Piaute Indians who were assisting in the siege.  Approximately 18 children were spared execution but lost their families and were assimilated into the Mormon whack factory.  All the possessions of the wagon train were stolen, including 800 head of cattle.

Brigham Young’s role in the slaughter of humans like animals is controversial.  But we know a few things.  First, he stated “If any miserable scoundrels come here, cut their throats” during a sermon he delivered under the subject “Red hot blood atonement”.   Second, he orchestrated a coverup to blame the murder on the Indians.  There is a theory that Young ordered the massacre personally, sending a message to the militia, “Brethren, do your duty.”

A woman is a wondrous thing to own

Ah, the good old days, when men were men and women knew their place.

The Mormon church is designed by men to serve men and keep women subordinate.  Women are excluded from holding positions of authority but all women are subservient to that authority.  Women are not only subordinate in this life, but in the Mormon afterlife as well where they will fulfill their “equal power” by spitting out babies like a Tommy gun.

The male chauvinism of the Mormon church is codified by statements of Leadership and teaching documents such as “The Latter-day Saint Woman – Basic Manual for Women”. In these writings, women are not only ordered to embrace their inferiority to men by affirmation, they are to embrace it spiritually as well.  Further, women have no control or say over the vast Mormon fortune; this is the provenance of men alone. Women are required to serve the church when called without pay.

The pervasive integration of Mormon church membership into family life guarantees that women will get no better treatment at home than they do within the church.  Women are expected to obey their husbands, serve them, support them, and make babies for them, lots and lots of babies.

Is the Mormon Church a Cult?

Do Mormons worship a false god or even Satan?

I have tried to give a brief overview of events and people who have shaped the Mormons into what they are today.  I have not yet addressed some of the dogma that separates them from Christians.  The church uses the words “Jesus Christ” in their official name; however, they hold beliefs that the Christian world consider to be heretical, non-Christian, and fraudulent. To make this concise I’m going to just list some of them, as I’m already up to 3000 words for this part of my article and I don’t want you to have to take a whole day to read it.  The next 10 points are written from a Christian point of view, which I am not, but know quite a bit about.

Heretical views of the Mormon Church:

1. Mormons believe in polytheism, or multiple Gods. They believe that men can become God in their own universe.
2. Mormons believe that God is flesh and bones, just like humans.
3. Mormons believe that God is married and that all spirits of all people on earth were conceived through sex.
4. Mormons believe in polygamy, even though they have a “revelation” to stop practicing it.
5. Mormons believe that God has evolved.
6. Mormons believe that Jesus is the “spirit brother” of Satan and was not born of the Holy Spirit and Mary, but instead through physical incest.
7. Since 1830 the Book of Mormon, supposedly the scripture, has been changed 4000 times.
8. You will never see a cross, the symbol of Christianity, in a Mormon temple as they do not accept grace from God
9. There is no corroboration with the Book of Mormon in history, archaeology, geography, linguistics, or anthropology.
10. The Bible has little use in the Mormon worship service and usually only appears in the temple for Easter and Christmas.

I thought it might be useful to take a quick trip through to the characteristics of cults.  Here’s a “checklist” I found that covers a lot of what I have been thinking about since I got interested in this topic.

Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups – Revised

Janja Lalich, Ph.D. & Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.

http://www.csj.org/infoserv_cult101/checklis.htm

Concerted efforts at influence and control lie at the core of cultic groups, programs, and relationships. Many members, former members, and supporters of cults are not fully aware of the extent to which members may have been manipulated, exploited, even abused. The following list of social-structural, social-psychological, and interpersonal behavioral patterns commonly found in cultic environments may be helpful in assessing a particular group or relationship.

Compare these patterns to the situation you were in (or in which you, a family member, or friend is currently involved). This list may help you determine if there is cause for concern. Bear in mind that this list is not meant to be a “cult scale” or a definitive checklist to determine if a specific group is a cult. This is not so much a diagnostic instrument as it is an analytical tool.

‪ * The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.

‪* Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

‪* Mind-altering practices (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, and debilitating work routines) are used in excess and serve to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s).

‪

Now we know. Briefs, sort of. What you have to wear to temple, under what you have to wear to temple.

* The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry—or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).

‪* The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members (for example, the leader is considered the Messiah, a special being, an avatar—or the group and/or the leader is on a special mission to save humanity).

‪* The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

‪* The leader is not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations).

‪* The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members’ participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).

‪* The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt iin order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.

‪* Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.

‪* The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

‪* The group is preoccupied with making money.

‪* Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.

‪* Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

‪* The most loyal members (the “true believers”) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.

What it all boils down to is control. If you belong to an organization that controls a large part of your life, including the way you behave and the way you think, you may be a member of a cult.  Personally, the Mormons fit the definition above matching all but a couple of characteristics but a few of them.  They control you, and if you try to get away from them they will make your life miserable.

NEXT: Glenn Beck, Mormon convert and de facto Teaparty Minister of Propaganda

Michael Savage, whose real name is Michael Wiener (aka “da Weeenie”) and is a contemptible lump of meat in his own right, predicts that Glenn Beck will be GONE from the airwaves in 90 days… so we’re starting our own GLENN BECK AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM Countdown Clock!

OK, Beckerheads and Weenerites, the clock is TICKING! 90 days or less, my pretty…!

UPDATE 10/27/09

Da Weiner calls Glenn “The hemorrhoid with eyes” (LMAO!)

The “Doctor” is in! LOL Michael Weiner “Savage” apparently has a doctorate from UC Berkeley in “nutritional ethnomedicine” which I believe from reading his bio may have included a concentration in natural hallucinogenics. But let this be a warning… if you do too much LSD you might turn CONSERVATIVE! This is what I postulate may have happened with “Doctor” “Savage”. After all, he once had a job as keeper of Timothy Leary’s stone gatehouse. Here’s the clip, where Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity are also “savaged” as Mikey goes on the rampage about everyone who makes more money than he does in the infotainment business:

BTW… I didn’t see this in the Wiki bio for Savage, but didn’t he have a gig with the Jerky Boys? He sounds just like one of them!

Update 10/30/09

I discovered today that the original video I had linked was taken down for a TOS violation at YouTube. So, I found ANOTHER one, this is a general trashing of Faux News so you get to hear about O’Reilly and Cavuto too! LOL, enjoy!

In Glenn Beck’s world, any statement or act from anyone on his hate list is part of the slippery slope to Marxist socialist fascist Nazi communism. Today’s target: the national volunteerism project from the Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF), a television advocacy group that has championed breast cancer research, diabetes awareness, global poverty, and other “communist” objectives.

What it is….
The campaign is called I PARTICIPATE and the press release describes it as follows:

EIF is mobilizing the entire entertainment community around the ground-breaking, multi-year I PARTICIPATE, which will promote a new way of thinking about service and seek to persuade millions more Americans to volunteer regularly. To jumpstart the campaign, Entertainment Industry President and CEO Lisa Paulsen, Tyler Perry and Ashton Kutcher announced its 2009 centerpiece: a week-long television event running from October 19th to the 25th, when America’s most-loved TV shows on ABC, CBS, FOX and NBC and other broadcast networks will spotlight service through scripted programming, segments and PSAs with inspirational messages and storylines about volunteerism. Randy Jackson (FOX), Christine Baranski (CBS), Tim Daly (ABC) and Michelle Trachtenberg (NBC) also participated in the announcement.

That’s rampant socialism if ever I saw it! LOL!

Glenn Beck can’t help himself from lying, I think it’s pathological. Right off the bat he says that EIF is “suddenly interested in being volunteers.” FAIL. If only Glenn wanted to know and tell the truth, he could have found out that EIF has been volunteering for decades. TV shows are getting involved by writing volunteerism into their scripts for the week of October 19. Beck goes on to trivialize EIF by saying that your favorite TV character “might volunteer at a dog shelter or a park.” Well, there’s nothing wrong with volunteering at a dog shelter or park, but real people volunteer everywhere. A dog shelter or park is what you said, Glenn, because you think it sounds trivial. But although you might think animals and parks are trivial, real people also build houses, feed the hungry, comfort the grieving, care for sick and elderly. OF COURSE you can’t understand volunteering, Glenn, because you are a soulless POS.

Glenn says he has one pesky question. “Are we running out of volunteers in this country? I mean, Americans are some of the most caring and generous people in the world. Are we trying to fix a problem that doesn’t exist…?” Wow. Glenn, you need to get out more. You need to take a look around, sonny, because there are a boatload of problems that have gone begging for decades in America and around the world. I know multi-millionaires like yourself wouldn’t know anything about that beyond the tax deductions that you take for donations to your political activist church. But wow, dude, seriously, you don’t think these problems even EXIST?

At 1:40 into the video, Glenn begins to reveal the hideously ugly face of his cynical self. This isn’t about volunteering, it’s about Barack Obama. (In Glenn’s world, isn’t everything?) Glenn Beck hates Obama so much that he has to hate volunteering because Obama supports it.

Not only is volunteering a nasty leftist “Hollywood” thing (a place that is known to be infested with out-and-out socialist anarchists because Ron Reagan even said so), but it’s also a Maoist thing! Yes, if you volunteer in America you are doing it because you HATE America and want to turn it into communist China! It’s obvious, isn’t it?

After you watch Glenn Beck’s take on this you will want to know if Glenn has conferred with his MD lately for an adjustment to his anti-psychosis drugs. I suggest that you contact him and ask. Contact information below…

Contact Glenn Beck by phoning 888-727-BECK or writing to me@glennbeck.com

No, seriously, that’s his email address. ME. Why am I not surprised?

Fox News’ no-class clown is trying to “ring” every drop of savory insanity from his own perverted interpretation of a realty-based criticism of Fox.

White House Communications Director Anita Dunn told Howie Kurtz of CNN what is obvious to anyone who follows politics. She said that Fox News is an arm of the GOP, that they ignore real news stories and instead exist to mix their GOP prejudice with a carefully selected group of stories that support GOP talking points.

Glenn Beck thinks it’s funny to twist this into the lie that the White House is trying to shut down Fox and particularly his show. Yesterday he insulted Jews everywhere by claiming that this was like the Holocaust. Today he is comparing it to the Cold War by placing a “red phone” on his set and begging the White House to call him to work things out before they bomb. See below….

Well, Glenn if that phone rings you had better not pick it up. It might be Reality checking in to set you straight on your hyperbolic ranting. It might be whatever evil force it was from the movie “The Ring”. Or, equivalently, it might be the President of the Mormon Church calling to tell you to STFU about being a Mormon because you’re scaring people away and you don’t represent the views of mainstream LDS members.

Now, Glenn, I know you’re reading this because you’re so demented and egomaniacal that you obsessively search for any criticism of your delusional self. But please, for your own good, don’t assume that Anita Dunn is watching your show because she isn’t. People in power don’t do things like that, they pay other people to do them, kind of like the illegals you hire to mow your yard(s). Take my advice, for your own good, lower your expectations.

The only thing on the Red Phone is your hyperactive ADDD imagination.

As I reported below, Glenn told us yesterday that he was going to “run a whole series of shows” on White House Communications Director Anita Dunn’s comments about Fox News and its relationship to the GOP.

Well, at least he wasn’t lying about that. Today he began pleading for help from other news organizations, fracturing the following poem attributed by some to Pastor Martin Niemöller, who at first supported Hitler’s rise to power and then joined a group of clergy who opposed him.

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak out for me.

Herrrrre’s GLENN! Listen:

These news organizations don’t have any idea what they’re in bed with right now. Ah, you know, let me speak to the good journalists out there, because, I believe there are a few. Those journalists who are at NBC, or ABC, or CBS, or CNN. I know decent journalists over at CNN.

Ask yourself this question: When they’re done with Fox, and you decide to speak out on something. The old, “first they came for the Jews, and I wasn’t Jewish.” When you have a question, and you believe that something should be asked, they’re a — totally fine with you right now; they have no problem with you.

When they’re done with Fox and talk radio, do you really think they’re going to leave you alone if you want to ask a tough question? Do you really think that a man who has never had to stand against tough questions and has as much power as he does, do you really believe that after he takes out the Number 1 news network, do you really think that this man is not going to turn on you, that you in your little organization is going to cause him any hesitation at all not to take you out?

If you believe that, you should open up a history book because you’ve missed the point of many brutal dictators, you, you’ve missed the point on how they always start.

Wow. Pure-D Glenn Beck again!

Look Glenn, and I know you read this you little egomaniac, your assertion that Obama is coming after you is just about the most delusional thing you’ve belched to date. Nobody is after you, Glenn, except a few of us who just want to make sure that the most outrageous crap you say doesn’t ever go away. The White House never said anything even remotely similar to what you claim it said, and no sane person would ever agree with your cracked interpretation of it. What they said was that Fox is an entertainment and opinion network, not a news network, and that it functions as part of the GOP. Nobody said anything about shutting you down, or shutting you up. God help you if that were to happen, you’ve got so much anger and delusion inside you that if you didn’t get it into a microphone you’d probably explode.

Now you like to play fast and loose with the Holocaust. Don’t be too surprised if you start getting some backlash on this. Your crappy little shows have nothing to do with the Holocaust, and nothing the White House said does either. You better just leave the Jews out of this, no good can come of it. If you don’t, the wards, or the states, or the Presiding Bishopric, the First Quorum of the Seventy, the Patriarch, the Twelve Apostles, or the First Presidency himself, or some hidden office of the cracked Mormon theocracy might come after you themselves.

Who knows, the Mormon Church may wise up one of these days and dump you. Wow, that would be annoying, but perhaps you could find another group to take you in. The Wiccans?

Keith Olbermann always starts out his show with his tagline “Which of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow…?”

Well, among the stories he referred to this evening was the quote from Rush Limbaugh where he claims to have “spawned” Glenn Beck. Well, he does sort of come off like spawn of some kind. Here’s the video… at 3:12 (if you can stand to watch it that long) Rush talks about “what I have spawned”. LOL

Spawned?

Well, Keith Olbermann was having none of this. Keith’s comment was, and I quote, “That’s like congratulating yourself for spreading syphilis”.

Not very friendly, but I guess I have to agree with it. Maybe “the clap” would have been a better choice of diseases. It sounds more theatrical, and happy.

The beautiful thing about running a Glenn Beck website is that every day he says something that you can’t believe can be topped. And the next day, he tops it every time! It’s like Bush’s discombobulated speaking was a gift to late-night chat shows, only this is better because Bush finally learned not to speak in public. Glenn Beck makes his living that way so he’s a veritable font of wakkobabble.

Friday’s unexpected award of the Nobel Peace Prize to President Barack Obama took everyone by surprise. I think even Obama was surprised by it when he found out; he said he was. This has unleashed a raging torrent of right wingnut venom. “He didn’t earn it!”, they exclaim. “It’s SOCIALIST!”, they Tweet. Rush Limbaugh said the Nobel Prize Committee just committed a “suicide bombing on themselves”. Wow. It’s all part of a big plot, the whole world is against us, and only Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck can see it and, and, can’t you SEE what’s happening???? LOL

Of course, anything that’s good for Barack Obama HAS to be good for the right wing Noise Machine because they can use it for their race-based initiative. Obama=black=not one of us=not really President=world socialist plot= ? That’s how the contemporary group that identifies itself as “conservatives” became the “hate America first crowd” that they used to accuse the left of being when we asked inconvenient questions about torture, illegal domestic wiretapping, WMD, and so on. So it is in this context that Glenn Beck opened his piehole today and this marvelous stream of goose poop flowed out.

Glenn says the Nobel Peace Prize should go to the teabaggers. Listen.

Glenn Beck is acting like a white guy imitating Kanye West. He’s taking the stage, grabbing a microphone, and telling us that Obama shouldn’t have won the award, the effing TEABAGGERS AND 9/12 group should have! Wow, this is the most batshit-crazy stuff I’ve heard from Glenn to date. I’m not surprised that he would THINK it. But to actually say it on TV? Doesn’t he know that about 95% of Americans think the teabaggers are wakkos without a clue? These are the people that Glenn Beck thinks should win the Nobel Prize????!!!

Glenn Beck off his rocker again. Priceless.

Glenn Beck is running out of sponsors. However, he maintains, according to Keith Olbermann, 3 sponsors who hawk gold to the unwitting fools who believe that the US Government is going to collapse and the dollar will be worthless. In other words, these people are telling you to bet against your own government. Here’s an example of a gold ad. If you know anything about this you will no that this makes no sense whatsoever, unless you also believe that you should bury 50,000 rounds of ammo in the back yard and keep a sharp eye out for Obama’s black nationalist AmeriCorps:

This wouldn’t be anything remarkable, except that now Glenn Beck is not only appearing in gold ads during his own show, he’s promoting the notion that the currency is going to collapse so you better buy gold. Glenn Beck has been telling his viewers that they should “Trust GoldLine. Just TRUST them.” Holy smokes.

In the following clip he pulls a few rhetorical slights of hand that are worth mentioning. First, he riffs on Lindsey Graham’s comments about him, but he LIES about what Graham said. Graham didn’t call Beck a “pessimist”, he called him a “cynic”. Yes, there is a difference. Then Glenn goes all R, W, & B on us saying that this is the country that could do anything if we could just tame corruption. Yes, by gum, that’s the ticket, and according to Glenn Beck HE’S the guy to tell us what’s corrupt.

Then Beck goes up to the blackboard and starts comparing the demise of the USSR to what’s happening here, now. This is totally ludicrous, if you did this for a high school paper you would get an F. (Remind me to put this on the “FAIL” page, too.) So what’s going to happen, in Glenn Beck World, is that the currency is going to fail. That’s why you need to be buying GOLD, yes, lots of gold, and buy it from the Glenn Beck Show sponsors! If you see the fine trustworthy folks at GoldLine, telll ‘em GLENN BECK sent you, PERSONALLY.

So after the setup Beck brings on some meat puppet named David Buckner from Columbia U who is willing to go on national TV and tell everybody to buy gold. Buckner’s biography says he’s a graduate of Brigham Young (do I sense a MORMON theme?) and is the president of Bottom Line Training & Consulting, Inc., a firm specializing in change management, cultural integration, and strategic efficiency modeling. In other words, he’s the PERFECT guy to tell you to buy gold, he’s obviously a genius based on his website. From the looks of it, he’s managed to drop Columbia University’s name on a training/consulting firm that can spit more corporation doublespeak at you in 5 seconds than any Bullshit Bingo expert could. BTW, the last time Buckner was on Beck’s show he keeled over. Must have been an overdose of Vapo-Rub.

This is kind of long, but it’s worth the watch. At the beginning Glenn says he doesn’t pay much attention to “you Ivy League guys”. Wow.

Watch, and be amazed…

With special thanks and a tip of the hat to Keith Olbermann, Air America, and Ryan Witt of the Des Moines Examiner for excellent reporting on Beck, who wants to be the next Goldfinger. I know there are supposed to be ethics rules in reporting, such as a conflict of interest when you have 3 sponsors that sell gold on a show that’s telling you the sky is falling so buy gold. Is this also ILLEGAL? There ought to be a law; I think it would be worth a complaint to the FCC.

Last week Senator Lindsey Graham, (R, SC) threw Glenn Beck under the bus and ran over him (see article below). This ought to be newsworthy to Glenn Beck fans, who have to be totally confused about Glenn’s politics by now. Is he GOP? Is he a Lib? A Mormon nationalist? An apocalyptic prophet? A teabagger? Or WTF is he?

Well, Senator Graham is definitely GOP. Whether or not he’s a “true conservative” is debatable; Graham is not a Bill Buckley conservative. However, when Graham speaks the GOP listens, and today the faithful got this message loud and clear: Glenn Beck does not speak for conservatives or the GOP. Here’s what Graham told Faux News this morning:

What I am saying, he doesn’t represent the Republican Party.You can listen to him if you like. I choose not to because quite frankly I don’t want to go down the road of thinking our best days are behind us. We need to act decisively. People are genuinely upset with how much money we’re spending up here. But at the end of the day when a person says he represents conservatism and that the country is better off with Barack Obama than John McCain, that sort of ends the debate for me as to how much more I’m going to listen. So, he has the right to say what he wants to say. In my view it is not the kind of political analysis that I buy into.

Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/04/lindsey-graham-takes-anot_n_309003.html