The Glenn Beck Report

Radio and TV multi-gazillionaire Glenn Beck could lose his sight if everything turns out just right. Or so he says. According to Beck, he paid a doctor “a thousand dollars to tell him something he already knows”. Well, he knows everything, so shouldn’t he just save his money?

Beck says he has some kind of oddball disease called macular dystrophy. His condition has not prevented his eyes from tearing up, however, as he openly wept about his plight before a throng of hundreds. He told God that if he “needed [his] eyes, he could have them.” Yeah, like fat chance God would a) need Beck’s eyes, and b) Beck would have any say in it. They have eye banks, doesn’t God know about those? Don’t these Mormons get it? Not everything is negotiable. Besides, it says in plain English right on the jar that you’re supposed to keep Vapo-Rub out of your friggin’ eyes.

The sheer irony of this is not lost on anyone. Beck has been operating with “special” eyesight for a long time now, being able to see what everyone else can’t. “Huh?”, we asked. He’s been telling us about these conspiracies, oh, the humanity, can’t you SEEE…. like some kind of demented, rabid animal. He sees things that nobody else would notice. For example, “socialist art” in the Rockefeller building. God DAMN, we’re surrounded by socialism, everywhere!

There is no doubt in my mind that Beck’s condition is treatable, and even though he has a $32 MILLION dollar a year salary, he had the balls to make a comment about getting “good health care while he still can”. This was a cheap shot and an insult to 32 million Americans with no health insurance AT ALL who can’t get treatment unless they go to an emergency room. All right, Glenn, please read this while you can still see, since you say you’re “too lazy to learn braille”. STFU. You piece of human garbage, with your distaste for your fellow man, I hope you get treated by socialists who know what to do with people like you.

I read a story about this over at the San Francisco Chronicle this afternoon, and of course they get lots more hits there than we get at our little website. I would recommend you go over there and read the comments. Those folks in SF can come up with a few good ones, to be sure. Some samples…

“I’ll bet God meant to hit mute but just missed the button”
“I’d recommend that he stop masturbating and drinking wood alcohol immediately.”

It’s no laughing matter when somebody goes blind. Usually. But this SOB is the same person who has mocked the homeless, the downtrodden, the displaced, the unemployed, the disabled, the disfigured, and the disadvantaged. He’s the guy who said “… little Sally Muckenfutch who has a finger where her eye should be so she can’t pick her nose”.

You know what, Glenn? I HOPE you go blind. You need another life lesson, one that you apparently never got as a child, or while you were driving around in your DeLorean snorting coke off the steering wheel and laughing at all the heathens and homos on your radio show. Hell, you don’t NEED to GO blind, you already ARE blind.