The Glenn Beck Report

William W. Wexler, in a sweeping display of magnanimous generosity seldom seen in the hardball world of Mormon politics, has granted Glenn Beck a temporary stay of banishment from the airwaves.

Glenn Beck, a hemorrhoid with eyes, through whom God is speaking to articulate a plan which is not really a plan. Get behind me and buy more gold.

Glenn Beck’s media career death sentence was handed down by Michael Wiener “Savage” (oooh, you SAVAGE!) during an interview he gave for cable TV in October of last year. Dr. Wiener called Beck “a hemorrhoid with eyes” (who the hell am I to argue with a doctor about anatomical abnormalities?) and predicted that he would be “gone from the airwaves” in 90 days or less. To help everyone keep track of this important date, I decided to host the Glenn Beck Meets the Temple of Doom – Off the Air! clock on this site. You can read more about this story HERE…

Since then, the clock expired twice and Glenn Beck is still on the air! Some of us wonder how that can be, since he has no sponsors at all in the UK and over 100 sponsors have pulled out of his US shows on Faux “News” Channel and Mercury Radio stations. (For an exact update on Beck’s sponsor boycott, still in progress, visit http://stopbeck.com/ and follow @stopbeck on Twitter.) So how is it that a known liar with paranoid delusional fantasies and a chalkboard famous for yielding up secret messages that only Glenn can interpret for us can stay on the air? Nobody at Faux News is denying that Glenn Beck is having an affair with Rupert Murdoch, who nobody is denying has a thing for young blonds.

At any rate, Glenn, I have decided to give you another 90 days. Sorry I had to block you on Twitter today, but if you unblock me I’ll unblock you. Meanwhile, now you’ll have to come here to find out what I’m writing about you. Maybe I’ll mention that you’re a bogus Mormon cultist. Or that you’re cracked.

Marxist art, right on the American internet! Call the FBI!

OR that you have the fantasy that Obama has a hit squad just laying for you. Or that the opposite of socialism is anti-socialism.

Did you know that there is Marxist art available on the American internet!?!!?! Obama must have put it there personally, as I do not recall ever seeing it there before now! Imagine, the President trying to turn the nation into a peasant nation of socialist slaves! Oh my GAWD! Americans are being brainwashed into believing that Marxism is just a funny JOKE! What are we thinking? Our children, what about our children, laughing at slapstick while the guy with the duck-on-a-rope is plotting to take over the WORLD!

Hmmm.

UPDATE 4/29:

For more Marxist art, may I be so bold as to recommend any of the find collections of Marx Brothers films or Groucho’s zany show You Bet Your Life. There were some talented gents who were before their time. Even if they shared a name with communism’s greatest theorist.

Karl Marx stated that the history of society is the history of class struggle. Can anyone deny that since Ronald Reagan took office we have been doing exactly the same thing here in America? I would entertain arguments that we have been fighting this fight long before Reagan, but as a child of the 50s, I sure see the balance of power shifting markedly up the food chain after Reagan’s inauguration. During Bush’s term the population had to be held in check by fear, even as Bush’s banditos rode out of town with the loot in September 2008. Now it’s becoming clearer exactly how the American economy was hijacked and ripped off. The GOP seems to have taken sides with Wall Street, which is where Libertarians are as well. No government regulations, right? So where does that leave the Average Joe TeaBagger?

I’ll tell you where. This is now the perfection of cognitive dissonance in a political movement. In order to be a TeaBagger, you have to believe that the government should stay out of regulating the banks and financial institutions that have stolen the country blind.